Feels Like Home
by Shadow Of Castiel
Summary: My face, Dean Winchester’s face, had gone, replaced by the face of Castiel, or rather Castiel’s vessel, Jimmy Novak. rated M for adult content. Dean/Castiel


Summary: written for the Supernatural kink meme on the LiveJournal community spn_castiel, with the prompt - "Dean/Castiel. Bodyswap! Dean gets a little handsy with his new (but temporary) body."

All characters belong to Mr Eric Kripke. I make no money from this - this is purely for entertainment purposes. Title taken from the song of the same name by Fort Minor.

Feels like Home

I woke, consciousness slowly creeping in, my brain feeling a little foggy like I had been drinking too much the night before. As far as I could remember, I hadn't had anything stronger than a can of Coke, so just put the grogginess down to a far too heavy sleep. I swung my legs out of bed slowly, yawning hugely, rubbing the tips of thumb and forefinger into my eyes, trying to wake up more, yawned again, then coughed.

I sat on the edge of the bed for a few moments, staring groggily out of the light filled window across the room, wincing slightly at the brightness there, before I struggled to my feet, feeling strangely uncoordinated, almost like my body no longer belonged to me, but I just put this down to temporary tiredness once again.

I rubbed at my nose before I shambled into the bathroom, still trying desperately to get used to walking. Even coordinating something as simple as rubbing my nose, placing one foot before the other, seemed strange, different somehow, like my fingers, my feet, weren't even my own any more. It just felt freaking weird.

I made it to the bathroom, yawning hugely while taking a leak, before going to the basin, washing my hands slowly, mechanically, before I looked up, to finally catch a glimpse of my face in the mirror fastened to the wall.

I blinked, mouth hanging open slightly, as I tried to process what the mirror was telling me. I scrubbed at the slightly grimy surface, thinking that by doing that, it would make all the difference. Of course it didn't - the reflection was still not mine.

My face, Dean Winchester's face, had gone, replaced by the face of Castiel, or rather Castiel's vessel, Jimmy Novak.

My hands reached up, skimming over cheeks much thinner than my own, blinking large blue eyes owlishly, marvelling at the lack of freckles, the darker hair, more stubble, all that marked Castiel out as different to me. I ran fingers through my - Castiel's - hair, and felt the strands as real as mine should have felt. This felt all too real to be the dream that I was hoping it to be.

"Holy crap!" I said, in Castiel's voice, before looking down at my smaller, slighter body - my new body - before heading to the door once again, opening it, to peer out into the main room.

There was Castiel - presumably - still laying in bed, in my body - my real body, that is - seemingly settled too deep in sleep to know what had happened. I glanced over at Sam, still laying asleep in his own bed, oblivious himself to the new turn of events.

"This is freaking weird," I muttered to myself, returning to the bathroom, closing the door quietly behind me, so as not to wake anyone.

I wanted to remain quiet for a while, needing the time to think. I sat down on the closed lid of the toilet, resting my chin in my hands, staring blindly at the wall facing me, trying to replay events of the night before. As far as I could remember, nothing had happened - at least nothing out of the ordinary. Sam and I had crashed in our motel room after another successful hunt - this one ganking a werewolf in Indiana - when Castiel had shown up, telling us of another seal that was about to be broken in Pheonix in two days time. We'd promised him we'd get on the road the following morning, and now ... now here I was, in a body that wasn't my own, with no real clue as to how I'd gotten to be in it and no way of knowing how to get back out of it again.

I stood, stretching my smaller frame, making the joints pop as I moved, before I decided that I may as well take a shower. I didn't know what else I should be doing. Just because I was in a different body, didn't mean to say that I couldn't keep it clean.

I went through the familiar motions of getting the water running to the right temperature, stripping out of unfamiliar pajamas, before stepping into the cubicle, reaching for the soap blindly as the water from the shower head trickled into my eyes. I wiped the water free, coughing slightly as some of the water trickled down my throat, before a smile tugged at my lips, a thought suddenly occuring to me.

I can't deny that I hadn't thought about Castiel naked before, because I had: thought about him naked an awful lot in recent times. I just couldn't stop thinking about him, of what he must look like naked, of taking him into my bed, reserving these thoughts for when I was alone at night, locked in my own private world, because it seemed inappropriate to think these things of an angel of the Lord. It didn't bother me that the guy was just that - a guy. I was just a little worried he may smite me. Now just seemed the perfect chance to actually see what he looked like naked. Still grinning, chuckle squeezing out from between unfamiliar lips, I looked down, almost hesitantly.

"You lucky son of a bitch!" I said aloud, eyes growing wide in surprise. "You ain't got no worries, have you?"

I looked up at the wall in front of me, staring blindly at the cold and uncaring tiles, wondering what I should do now. I knew what I wanted to do, but actually doing it was another matter.

"Oh, screw it, he won't know anyway," I muttered to myself, finally reaching a decision. "I bet he touches himself all the time. He'd be mad if he didn't."

I closed my eyes, bracing one hand against the tiles in front of me, wrapping one hand around an already stiffening cock, stroking gently at first, then firmer, faster, breaths coming more ragged, bursting out past clenched teeth as I thought of Castiel. I applied more pressure, squeezing slightly at the base, lengthening the strokes and quickening the pace, until I felt the all to familiar pooling of impending release in my abdomen. It didn't matter that I was in a different body - the sensations were still the same, maybe more intense because I was jerking off the guy I was picturing.

I thought of Castiel again, of the way that he stared intently at me, blue eyes locked on mine, of the way he invaded my personal space, the only one I let get that close willingly, and I came, spending my release onto the wall before me, with a muffled cry of Castiel's name.

I stood there for a while, chest heaving, eyes blind to everything around me, hand still clenched around my already softening cock, until my breathing began to slow, and reality started to seep in once again.

I blinked in the faint beginnings of confusion as I felt a tugging on the edges of my consciousness, my soul, as though I was being ejected from my new body, and I grappled to stay. I wasn't finished, I wanted more time in this body to do with it as I wished, but time was no longer on my side. My time here, it seemed, was up, and I felt myself dragged through the air, ejected from Castiel's vessel forcibly, ending up in my own body once again.

I blinked against the light filtering through the motel room window. Unlike before I did not have the initial confusion I'd felt in Castiel's body. I was me again - Dean Winchester - and I wondered if that had been all but a crazy dream after all.

I sat up in bed when I heard the door to the bathroom opening, and Castiel came out in a cloud of steam, fully dressed - and he was staring straight at me. A knowing smile touched his lips, his eyes were twinkling in amusement and he looked the most human I'd ever seen him.

He knew. He must know what I'd done, what I'd been thinking while in his body, and I couldn't help but feel the beginnings of fright curl nastily in my stomach. After all, this was an angel I was looking at, had just jerked off, so who knew what fate might fall on my head now. For all I knew, he was about to smite me for what I had done.

I continued to stare at him, worriedly, watching him as he came closer, to sit on the edge of the bed beside me.

"Dean," he said, in that familiar gruff tone of his. "I know what you just did, Dean. I know what you were thinking about. You don't have to be ashamed, you know. It's alright - I approve."

"You ... you what? You approve?" I asked, not really understanding what he was saying to me right then.

"Think about it, Dean," he said, turning his face to the cracked ceiling above us, a small smile touching his lips and it was then that I knew, pieced it all together like some huge cosmic jigsaw.

"You! You tricked me, didn't you? There was no seal in Pheonix, was there? This was some huge test, wasn't it? You wanted to know what I would do. Well, I hope you're freaking happy! If you wanted me to - if you wanted me, then you could have just asked ... made a move ... something," I hissed, in frustration as the angel.

"And would you have let me make a move?" Castiel asked. "After all - I'm a guy."

I blinked, hearing my own words - hell, no, my own thoughts - thrown back into my face and I swallowed uncomfortably against the sudden dryness in my throat.

"So? You could still have asked, instead of resorting to swapping bodies," I told him, never taking my eyes from his face once. "It's a bit extreme, don't you think?"

Castiel just smiled, and I slumped back against my pillow with a strangled groan of frustration. I couldn't win, not this. I was screwed, and I knew it.

"I will not smite you, Dean. Not for this if that's what you're worried about," he assured me. "I just wanted to say - what you're feeling is natural."

"I know! What you did wasn't natural," I retorted, lifting my head to meet his gaze once again. "I give up, Cas. I do. I give up! What do you want from me? D'you want me to say I want you, want to screw you, what? 'Cos I do, 'cos I will, if that's what you want!"

"Well, I'm certain there was a more pleasant way of putting it than that, but yes, that is what I was wanting to hear. And I just want to say - I feel the same way," he said, turning those impossibly blue eyes upon me, unflinching in their intensity, a small amused smile touching his lips.

My mouth opened, closed, robbed of speech for a while, and Castiel smiled again. He leant down and pressed lips to mine in a quick, yet fervent kiss, and I was almost too surprised to react, to respond, but I did, in the end. The kiss was short, sweet, yet felt like home. He pulled away, broke the kiss, mere seconds before Sam woke up, groaning loudly into the otherwise silent room.

I glanced guiltily over at my brother, before looking back to Castiel. I was too late - he was already gone, but Sam was still there, and he was looking directly over at me.

"You alright, Dean? You look a bit pale," he said, blinking sleepily at me.

"I just had the strangest dream," was all I could think of to say. "I wouldn't worry about it."

"Oh, right, okay," Sam said, and didn't press the issue. "I'm gonna take a shower."

"Yeah, you do that," I said, as I swung my legs out of the bed, to stand, to look down at my body to make sure it really was mine.

I waited for Sam to finish his shower, before taking my second of the morning, because after all, the first body I'd showered hadn't been my own.

I didn't tell my brother of what had happened that morning, nor did I want to, but that didn't stop me from thinking about it. I wondered if Castiel would come back that night and I knew that if he did, then I would give him what he wanted, no questions asked. After all, I wanted the same things and always had done, even if I hadn't realized it before.

I still held to the fact that Castiel could just have asked, instead of pulling his freaky angel mojo on me. The answer still would have been yes.

fin


End file.
